SiME

From a blogging perspective, this month was interesting. I published a series of posts that made April 23rd my busiest day ever, then making the 25th even busier. I was pretty chuffed that people were reading and commenting on my shit. (Thanks to Ferd at in bona fide for all the linkage).

But unfortunately reality is a bitch so I’ve had to put this site on hiatus for a bit. These lifestyle reports are the only posts that’ll still be published before my exams are over.

My band also released an EP, the launch party was sick.

So how’s the rest of my life coming along?

Sleep
As I write this I’m in a sleep drain. It’s where you deliberately skip a nights sleep then go to bed early the next day to reset your sleeping pattern. Its not fun but it works, Breaking Bad is carrying me through. Yes, this demonstrates that I still cannot sleep right.

Work
I have a job as you all know, I got some tax back recently too. Regarding uni I’m still chipping away with my 3 hours hard focus a day – as well as using a lot of goal setting and planning techniques I picked up from the book I’m currently reading. Things are going pretty well in this department.

Money
Had to front a bit for the EP launch, and a handful of people owe me some cash. Around £100 total. Thankfully  I have a glorious interest free student overdraft, and a job. So I’ve basically got this handled too.

Health
Doing convict conditioning, taking it very slowly and enjoying every rep. My diet isn’t as good thanks to a delivery kebab shop and my impulsive nature, but I’m just gonna rationalise that as the “fuck you” element of Frost’s SPFYD.

Sex
Regular but no new notches, not leaving the house enough. Flaked on by social circle prospects. The plan is to finish exams and ten follow Roosh’s 9 step program over summer.

Write
Hiatus suxorz.

It’s that wonderful time of year, where us university students actually have to do work.

Given this shift in priorities, this blog will be on hiatus until Sunday 24th of June.

During this time I will still be posting lifetyle reports, the latest of which will be up by the end of this week.

Apart from that, nothing. I got shit to do at the moment. In the mean time I suggest you check out Delusion Damage, In Bona Fide and In Mala Fide’s linkage is good for you posts for some quality reading material.

See you in seven weeks, friends.

A clever idea to save on paper towels.

Also functions as an exercise for minimalism –  consume less, do less, live more.

He did use a lot of towels in this demonstration though.

The other night I tried coke for the first time. That shit is strange.

The night started with a few drinks at the pub, before heading to a jazz club in town. I was with some new friends who are quite into the drug, and they were kindly informing me of its effects.

“Mate, it’s like really powerful coffee. You don’t trip, you just get loads of energy. It lets you drink more without feeling sick and talking to people is really easy.”

This sounded interesting.

On the bus into town some of the boys were goofing around while hot girls watched. In a gap in the journey’s clowning someone suggested getting some coke. After a brief, intense discussion about who as getting how much I ended up splitting a gram with two female friends of friends. 20 minutes later we were in possession of dirty evil illegal drugs that ruin families, careers and friendships.

We had a couple of keys (you like, scoop it up with a key and snort a bit, quicker than racking up lines of the stuff) and headed to the club.

I got a beer. First observation - on coke, beer tastes like shit. Gradually it kicked in. Here’s what cocaine does to you.

• You get really hot.
• And really thirsty.
• Confidence increases, but for me not in an agressive way. It removed any social anxiety without making me get in people’s faces.
• It gives you tons of energy.

And we danced the night away.

I made out with a really hot girl, but in my epic party mode forgot to ask for her number. Otherwise I had me a great night with some great FWB sex after. I did notice some negative effects though.

• It’s addictive. Having a bit makes you want more.
• The boundless energy made my friend run after the girl he liked because his female friend told him it would be romantic.
• It’s expensive as shit.

Conclusion – It’s alright. I’d do it again but it’s too expensive and too risky (class A here) to do regularly.

I doubt he’ll read this, but fuck you random Amsterdam kebab shop owner.

On my recent trip I went to a kebab shop with the really chill FWB. I had no money so she kindly paid. Seems fair, we spot each other all the time.

Mr Kebab man did not like this. He proceeded to publicly tell me off in front of all his customers. My crime? Not paying for a woman he didn’t know. He was so enraged by the fact that she had to pay that he gave her a free drink to make things right.

I ate my food and had a bit of the free drink while he watched.

Chivalry is a two way street Kebab man. If you don’t realise this it will come back to haunt you in the future.

You recently ran this article about MRAs. I would like to applaud and congratulate you for not making them look like a bunch of evil misogynist rapists. Well done.

I am not an MRA as such, I do however sympathise with a lot of their issues. To this end I feel the need to point something out to you.

You repeatedly refer to the gender pay gap, citing that women earn less than men in all sectors, and that the only time women earn more is if you restrict the age range to 22-29. These figures are based on yearly salary.

I’m not writing to argue, I just suggest that you take the average yearly salary for men and for women, and divide it by the average amount of hours worked per week by the respective genders.

Then you’ll see the real pay gap.

Last night a fwb summed up the nature of our relationship:

Getting with othet girls is like shitting. I know you do it and that’s fine, I just don’t particularly wanna hear about it.

Smart girl.

Happy shame the beta month.

I’ve decided to join in on Mentu and Ashur’s fun by detailing my own journey of relative betatude, and how that compares to now. I don’t identify as an Alpha, so I’m going to talk about how I became what I call a Sigma instead.

This could be a cool tattoo.

Once upon a time, I was 13 years old. This was when I got my first proper girlfriend. We never had sex, although recently we caught up and I have now finally slept with her. She has actually read this blog and is coming to visit again this weekend.

Even at this tender age I was quite the narcissist, but as far as I knew there was a correct way to act around women. This was to supplicate and cuddle your way into their vaginas. My one saving grace was that I was persistent because I was horny as shit (high T levels + being 13 = lethal). Between my 13th birthday and the age of about 14 and a half, I had a string of typically teenage relationships: lots of fooling around but no sex, starting out feeling cool and being nice, ending up jealous and needy. I emphasise that at this age I acted that way because I thought I was supposed to – I was not acting through my own intentions. However, nearly 6 years later I found out that I had unknowingly “played girls off” against their friends. Pimp in the making? Probably not. Deez bitches be over analysing my shit.

Over time, the learned nice guy behaviours became internalised. I actually became nicer. At the age of 14 and a half, things really changed. I met a girl on a school trip to Italy (romantic init). I liked this girl a lot and fell pretty quickly. I was still a nice guy, but I had one saving grace – I still had strong personal boundaries. I think this came from my argumentative personality and getting my fair share of shit in school.

I was 14 (and a half) when we started going out. We were together for 3 years and 8 months.

I became a massive beta over this time. She was a headstrong “independent” girl who, although she was nice, spent a lot of time telling me how I should act and feel. The worst part was that I listened. I lost my virginity to that girl, so I felt like I was invested and should listen to her. She was also a year older than me so I thought she knew her shit.

Then she called a break, because I got too needy. I thought “fuck this I’m gonna chase other girls”. She didn’t like that, and we ended up back together after a week. Relationship continues as normal, but she’s now more jealous and I feel a bit more independent.

I was in 2 bands over this time. The second band was better so girls liked us more – this lead to more jealousy.

Fast forward to me being 17. She left for university and we decided to try and “make it work”. I don’t know if she cheated, but I can’t really blame her if she did. I got needy quickly. We broke up a second time, for a month. In this time I started smoking weed and became friends with Wolf, who is a textbook example of a natural Alpha. He had just dumped his ltgf because he got sick of her shit. What followed was this – he went on a fucking spree, I didn’t get laid at all.

So I got back with her AGAIN.

But she was now worried I’d “try to be” wolf. Trying to be someone is silly, but seeing a friend get laid easily is still pretty inspiring.

Then I started reading Roissy and Roosh. Shit went down.

Over a few months I came to dominate the relationship. Suddenly she was reacting to me and telling me she loved me all the time. Suddenly she was ringing me from uni to tell me she missed me, when it used to be the other way round. I was cool with her. When I turned 18 (UK drinking age for you americans), Wolf wished me happy birthday on facebook, adding “ladies, lock up your daughters, Dulst is out”. I thought it was hilarious, my girl got pretty upset.

The relationship continued and we went on holiday together, I really enjoyed this. It was a nice chill time we had in Turkey and I look back and smile – though I have no doubt that I enjoyed it because for the first time in my life I had hand in the relationship. After the holiday I went clubbing a lot and realised I wanted to get with other girls. Things went downhill from here. She realised and tried everything to keep me. Including shouting “fuck you, I could get with anyone here if I wanted!” in a club. I walked out on that and she chased.

Things slid downhill further, and I dumped her ass.

Then I went to Amsterdam. This is like August 2011, not the more recent trip. I may or may not have fucked a hooker, and I definitely had a one night stand with a slightly embarrassing girl. My friends laughed at me and mocked me, but I didn’t care – it confirmed that I didn’t need my ex to get laid. Between that ONS in mid August and going to uni at the end of September, I slept with two more girls, including a virgin. I also began fooling around with a girl I had known a long time. She was a virgin also, but not as up for sleeping with me.

I slept with two girls in my first week of uni, ending up with both as FWBs. One got a proper boyfriend after 3 weeks, I’m still sleeping with the other. Between then and now I slept with those two, the virgin I’d known a long time, a girl from my class, another ONS and the ex from when I was 13. Those aren’t Casanova numbers, but it suits me. My course load isn’t conducive to going out all the time (and I’m more responsible than this guy was).

Between Amsterdam #1 and going to uni, I learned the skills. Between starting uni and now I built the core. I’ve written a lot about sleeping with girls, but in terms of self improvement sex doesn’t mean much. I’m proud of it, but I’m more proud of the fact that at a relatively young age I changed in 4 fundamental ways.

1. I now have strong personal boundaries.
2. I like me for myself. I have real self esteem because I genuinely believe I’m good enough.
3. I don’t care what people think of me.
4. I don’t suppress my emotions, but I don’t let them control me either.

I predict that most of the journey to Alpha posts about to come out this month will, when distilled, be based on those four things. Now I’ve reached this point, sex is easy – and no longer important. It’s like food and water – you only think about it in times of lack. Whereas in September pussy used to be my sole focus, now my drive goes into uni, my band and my blog. My casual sexual relationships are a fun distraction – just like my other hobby, cooking.

Moral of the story? There isn’t one, but a bit of reflection is fun. The only problem is that the more I write the more I wonder if I’m slightly sociopathic.

This guy has it down:

A new-definition Alpha Male has complete control over his boundaries, so if he CHOOSES to act selflessly, to act compassionately, to sacrifice himself, or even to take a backseat and let others shine, he can. That’s the mark of the True Alpha Male, the man who has utter control over his boundaries and how he enmeshes himself into any social situation. He feels no NEED to overcompensate or to dominate or to intimidate, although he CAN if he wishes. He feels no NEED to sacrifice or lay down for anyone, but if the appropriate situation arises, he can do that if he wishes as well.

Yep. As it turns out, there’s a lot of incorrect conventional wisdom about how we wash ourselves. The following post is a short list of red pill hygiene ideas I’ve picked up over the last few months.

The first two are from this Jezebel Article.

Brushing your teeth

Studies show that flossing is much more important than brushing. Dental floss actually removes the bacteria that clump together between your teeth, without scrubbing and stripping layers off them.

But before you run to your dentist and smugly assert that Cracked told you that brushing is bad for you, brushing twice a day is generally still believed to be the best practice. But you should do it away from mealtimes to give your teeth time to recover from acid wear — ideally, right before you eat or drink anything. And although you might instinctively prefer a hard toothbrush to really grind off those asshole bacteria, studies suggest you should use a soft brush and focus on your gums more than your actual teeth. So it’s really more of a tooth massage.

Bathing

The most important thing to do to keep the skin healthy is to preserve the horny layer. There’s no magic number of showers each week, though it’s generally agreed that the number would fall somewhat shy of seven. Skipping showers, or, if you’d like a fancy French term, celebrating sans douche days, gives your skin time to repair some of the damage that the last shower caused.

When you shower, use warm or cool water and a mild soap (if at all), and rehydrate the horny layer by rubbing on some moisturizer afterward. Better yet, convince an attractive friend to help with this. Once you’ve cleaned up, you’ll want to make sure you air dry. Ignore protesting roommates or family members and remind them, as you’re drip-drying at the breakfast table, that they should be grateful you’re showering only a couple of times a week.

Drip drying, however, is a pain in the ass. Towel drying is fine, but try to dab the water off rather than rubbing it off. This is much better for your skin and I have noticed I get spots far less frequently since adopting this practice.

Deodorant

Baking, fucking, soda. (In the UK we call it bicarbonate of soda. Do NOT confuse with baking powder). You know all the manosphere hype about how great baking soda is? It’s true. The cool thing is it doesn’t even work the same way normal antiperspirants do. Blue pill antiperspirants work by clogging your sweat pores with silver or aluminium, then mask the smell (which comes from bacteria, not sweat) with some kind of fragrance. Baking soda, by contrast, allows you to sweat. However, the soda absorbs the sweat. It also absorbs the odour and is naturally antibacterial.

It’s cheaper than the normal stuff, and leaves your smell as a blank canvas that you can change with body sprays or cologne.

Hygeine Products

I heard over at the forum that you can make your own shower gels, toothpastes and shampoos by combining baking soda with bauxite, among other things. This sounds cool and I might try it, but I don’t wanna turn my shared kitchen or bathroom into a fucking lab. I like my flatmates too much for that. A common blue pill product buying mantra seems to be “nuke the fuck out of my body”. People scrub themselves raw with harsh chemicals only to see limited results. My advice is to go gently. If you live like a caveman you probably already beat the shit out of your body – give it a break! I like to stick to natural products and avoid harsh or over perfumed ones. Easy really. The one exception to the smell is my awesome mint shower gel – but this is compensated by the fact it’s made of actual mint leaves. Also don’t use tons of product, just use enough. Conserving it saves money and, once your body acclimatises, gives better results.

Brands I like: Original Source, Head and Shoulders, Bulldog, Simple, Freederm, Pears.

The last one is the absolute shit and is also manly as fuck.

P.S. Exams are starting soon, so posts will be less frequent (and judging by the last 2 days views of poorer quality). I’ll still be posting as often as I can.