A girl who occasionally cheats on her boyfriend with me said to me, one of the first times she cheated, “can you be really rough with me please”. We had fucked before she was with her boyfriend, but clearly he wasn’t living up to her previous roughness standards.
So we had rough sex. Dirty talk, hair pulling, scratching, biting, spanking, etc.
This made me think. Clearly the idealised notion of tender lovemaking doesn’t cause as many tingles as the good old fashioned bang, but is there a reason to this? Roosh has written before about not caring whether a girl reaches orgasm, and I agree with his thoughts on men caring about the end while women care more about the journey. I do however believe there is another layer to this.
Essentially, if you fuck like a ravenous beast with your own satisfaction in mind, you are telling her that you really don’t give a shit and that she is there to please you. Sound familiar? You guessed it – alpha. Fucking aggressively and selfishly demonstrates alphaness, thus leading them to be more likely to fuck you again.
Conversely, tender lovemaking is beta. Beta as fuck. By being over attentive to her enjoyment at the expense of your own, you are lowering your own value and placing her on a pedestal. You wouldn’t do this when chatting up a girl, so why do it in the bedroom?
I am not, and have never been a “lovemaker” so I might be wrong about this. I invite reader opinions on the subject of fucking vs lovemaking.