You are a Bullshitter

When did you last tell a lie? Just now, a few minutes or hours ago, yesterday?

According to psychologist Richard Wiseman, 25% of survey respondents claim to have lied in the last 24 hours. Some other figures include 90% of people claiming to have lied on a date, 80% during a job interview, 50% to their boss and, most appallingly, 40% of the population are happy to lie to their friends. (source)

I find this disgusting. To think that 40% of my friends would be happy to lie to my face is an extremely disconcerting thought.

I have a history of being uncomfortable with lying, but perhaps ironically I’m pretty good at it. I can bullshit my way out of most situations. This is all well and good except that afterwards I feel like an absolute bastard.

As I got older, I got more proficient at lying, but also felt more uncomfortable with it. So I eventually decided to (almost) entirely purge it from my life.

If you are in a similar position, here are some tips for how to put a stop to it.

1. Realise that not lying and radical honesty are two very different things. The former is not saying things that are not true, the latter is removing the filter between your brain and your mouth.
2. Start small. The most common types of lies are minor white lies used to preserve other people’s feelings. If you’re violating the basic, moral principle of truth, you are a bullshitter. This kind of bullshitting is done by weak people who value themselves as lower than the person they are lying to, and thus don’t want to upset them. Excuses are for pussies, false excuses are for lying pussies. If you don’t want to do something simply say “no, thank you” and leave it at that. If they press for an explanation tell them the cold hard truth. They may be upset at first but they’ll get over it and it may even strengthen your relationship.
3. Start close. The first people you should stop lying to are your friends and family. Then your acquaintances, then eventually everyone. This approach allows you to tackle the problem where it is most destructive. I’d feel much more uncomfortable lying to my best friend than I would to a stranger.

It takes time, but eventually you will find yourself being instinctively honest with people. They will be surprised at this, but warmed to you at the same time. They will also generally reciprocate your honesty.