Our culture has lied to you about what constitutes a strong independent woman. Real feminine strength is what our grandmothers had while their husbands were fighting for their country. How many “strong independent women” could handle an emotional burden like that? My guess is very few. I want strong, independent women in my life, but when I say strong and independent I mean:
I want a woman strong enough to resist relationship duress enough to facilitate an unfenced relationship.
I want a woman independent enough to not require the input of her friends for every major decision.
I want a woman strong enough to get her validation from within, not her job, her social status or wealth.
I want a woman independent enough to not narcissistically worry “what she’s done wrong” in the event that I don’t want to hang out.
I want a woman strong enough to lower her bitch shield and be honest, open and vulnerable. Someone brave enough to bring the walls down.
I want a woman independent enough to have actual, constructive hobbies. Shopping does not count as a hobby.
I want a woman strong enough to always make the effort to look feminine and sexy, even if she isn’t feeling up to it.
I want a woman independent enough to not require constant external validation from facebook, texting and other social media.
I want a woman strong enough to put up with sexist humour, emotional roller coasters and rough sex (that’s how most of my relationships with women are).
This is not the same as the “Strong Independent Woman(tm)” promoted to us by Sex in the City, Cosmo and various other manifestations of societal decay. Being a catty, neurotic, shallow bitch who acts like a man but with a vagina is not strength, it’s cowardice. Taking shelter in a fortress of asocial and unnatural behaviour is a defence mechanism for people without the strength to present themselves as they truly are. Climbing the corporate ladder doesn’t take strength, it takes manipulation, ass kissing and sociopathy. Having an emotionless, sex only love life is nothing but a sign of a lack of willingness/ability to connect with the opposite sex. Overcoming this takes strength, as does letting go of any jealousy about your partners other lovers.
Of course you’ll never read this in Cosmo, because to them strength is neurotic, self absorbed validation seeking. The result is a lot of lonely, deluded women and a lot of sexually frustrated men. It’s lose – lose.