My first time on Cocaine

The other night I tried coke for the first time. That shit is strange.

The night started with a few drinks at the pub, before heading to a jazz club in town. I was with some new friends who are quite into the drug, and they were kindly informing me of its effects.

“Mate, it’s like really powerful coffee. You don’t trip, you just get loads of energy. It lets you drink more without feeling sick and talking to people is really easy.”

This sounded interesting.

On the bus into town some of the boys were goofing around while hot girls watched. In a gap in the journey’s clowning someone suggested getting some coke. After a brief, intense discussion about who as getting how much I ended up splitting a gram with two female friends of friends. 20 minutes later we were in possession of dirty evil illegal drugs that ruin families, careers and friendships.

We had a couple of keys (you like, scoop it up with a key and snort a bit, quicker than racking up lines of the stuff) and headed to the club.

I got a beer. First observation - on coke, beer tastes like shit. Gradually it kicked in. Here’s what cocaine does to you.

• You get really hot.
• And really thirsty.
• Confidence increases, but for me not in an agressive way. It removed any social anxiety without making me get in people’s faces.
• It gives you tons of energy.

And we danced the night away.

I made out with a really hot girl, but in my epic party mode forgot to ask for her number. Otherwise I had me a great night with some great FWB sex after. I did notice some negative effects though.

• It’s addictive. Having a bit makes you want more.
• The boundless energy made my friend run after the girl he liked because his female friend told him it would be romantic.
• It’s expensive as shit.

Conclusion – It’s alright. I’d do it again but it’s too expensive and too risky (class A here) to do regularly.

I’m Back

Well, that was a pretty intense weekend. We spent two days + sunday morning in amsterdam, and although it was fun, nothing exciting enough happened to make a good story.

So instead I present you with:

Dulst’s magic list of stuff I noticed on my trip to Amsterdam:

• It takes ages to drive there.
• Standing on deck on a ferry having a cigarette is satisfyingly manly.
• French teenagers act like their drunk when in large groups.
• They should make coaches that accomodate tall people – my left leg went entirely to sleep.
• Northern lights, while not the strongest weed out there, is so good for a relaxing chill.
• Vaporisers are the absolute shit and I love them. One day I’ll buy one. Yeah they cost ~£400 but think of the money you’d save on papers. (rationalisation to the max there).
• Milkshakes + weed = awesome.
• The “cool drink” in Amsterdam is Smirnoff Ice. This is especially hilarious for me because where I’m from this drink is associated with 14 year old kids who think they’re the shit.
• Hostel staff are unhelpful and lazy when they screw up your room arrangements.
• The weed is so strong that sex feels kinda… zen?
• In Holland, giving a good tip is considered rude. This is because it apparently implies that the waiters aren’t paid enough. It seems Jante Law is not restricted to Denmark.
• The performers in sex shows are fuck ugly. The prostitutes are generally the hottest women around (compared to tourists, locals and strippers).
• The alleys deep in the Red Light District smell like pheromones. Pleasant smell matches the pleasant view.
• Waking up still high is possible.
• In this state all food is amazing. I posit that this is due to munchies with 8 hours asleep without food.
• Mixing hash with weed is surprisingly pleasant.
• Smartshops are cooler than coffeeshops. They sell magic truffles (shrooms that technically aren’t shrooms) that are legal both in Holland and the UK. I found a website that delivers these truffles, so expect a post about those in the future.
• Coffeeshop staff are the chillest people in the world.
• Getting lost in Amsterdam is horrible because everywhere looks the same.
• Bar crawls are shit. Amsterdam is not the place to go clubbing. Drinks are expensive and the bars suck. I ducked out of our bar crawl with an FB, we went to a coffeeshop and to burger king. Much more fun than the bars.
• The rush to smoke the last of your weed before departing is fun.
• Weed is tolerated in belgium so we had some more there when stopping at a chocolate factory.
• Chocolate factories are awesome. Chocolate factories that sell the cheapest tobacco in Europe are incredible.
• The people on my trip who may or may not have brought weed back with them demonstrated that smuggling is a combination of balls and luck, and has very little to do with tactics.

Also, check out my souvenirs:

Spinny Button Ash Tray

Le bong

Giving Up Drugs Was a Waste of Time

Sort of.

40 days ago I quit drugs and cigarettes. I was getting stoned too much to focus on my life. I decided a long break would help me sort everything out.

It did, but it didn’t.

It did because I wasn’t staying up blazing til 4am when I had to get up the next day. It didn’t because I just got drunk instead, or stayed up reading useless shit on the internet. I was wasting just as much time and losing just as much sleep, but I wasn’t enjoying it as much. This gave rise to two conclusions.

1. Alcohol is shit. When I was smoking before I drank less to compensate, otherwise I’d just whitey which is no fun. During the break I was drinking a lot more on nights out and hangovers became a lot worse. I also drank more frequently out of boredom. This boredom leads to…

2. Most drug (including alcohol/tobacco/aderall) problems have little to do with drugs. If you are getting stoned every day (when you don’t want to be) and you just flat out quit, you don’t address why you were getting stoned every day in the first place. You may do it as a coping mechanism, to de stress, to sleep or, if you’re like me, because you’re bored and easily distracted. The point is that without drugs as a solution to whatever  you will fill that void with something else. The best course of action is to fill that void with something productive, but if you don’t properly evaluate why you take drugs too much you’ll probably just substitute in alcohol, forums, or chronic masturbation.

What to do if you take drugs recreationally but want to cut down.

Take the ZenHabits approach to self improvement. Identify bad habits and their triggers, then gradually replace them with new better habits.

This would vary based on your situation. My trigger is boredom, so when it strikes I’ll work on a blog post, read a book on my kindle, or occasionally (just occasionally) play some Age of Empires.

Apply this to whatever instances of drug use are caused by your trigger, not the times when you do it for fun. This means if I’m bored and on my own, I’ll do something productive; but if I’m chilling with my friends I’ll happily smoke up and enjoy it.

I’m taking this same approach to alcohol just because that shit is expensive, not sure about cigarettes yet.

Our health is dictated by our lifestyle. The more good you do to your body and mind, the more bad you can get away with before seeing adverse affects. I’d rather smoke weed every day than live on readymeals.

PS: if you aren’t into drugs, please shut up about how people should get their enjoyment exclusively from wholesome activities. People like their endorphins, and there are a million ways to get them. Variety is the spice of life.

40 Days and 40 Nights

As part of my never ending quest for self improvement I’m going to not smoke or take drugs for the next 40 days. – Starting February 15th at 4pm.

I’m doing this in order to quit smoking, and to allow me to catch up with my uni work. It should also break me out of a regular use pattern so that drugs are more of a treat, which absolutely makes them more fun.

This was inspired by my mate Wolf, who did this so that he finished on his birthday. Suffice to say he got blazed out of his skull, but no longer smokes. This is the outcome I’m aiming for.

Expect updates on how I’m doing.

I’ll also take the opportunity to apologise for the lack of regular posting in the past week, and for the brevity of this post. I didn’t stick to my information diet, this led to poor eating and sleeping patterns, falling behind on uni work and a lot of stress. I’m not making excuses or rationalising – I fucked up.

I’m sorting all this out, I’ll be back in full force from now on.

My First Time on MDMA

Was amazing.

Before any anti drug people start throwing their shit at the wall, please read this.

Anyway, where was I?

Having just got back to uni after Christmas, a FWB and I had agreed to have a little experiment on the first monday. Our first week runs a reduced timetable and we both had a day off on tuesday, so monday was a pretty logical choice. We bought our gram (£40) and made a couple of bombs, then rubbed some under our gums. We agreed not to take the actual bombs until inside the club in case we got turned away.

My flatmates rolled out with FWB and I that night, they were drinking while we prepped our drugs. The flatmates left before us because we were such noobs at making bombs but after a bot of googling we got it nailed and hopped on the bus into town. We had agreed to meet everyone else there.

The effect of gum rubbing became noticeable on the bus. Surrounded by drunk people having not had any alcohol myself, I would normally have found them quite annoying. This time was different, I just felt calmly contented. I was happy for these drunk, obnoxious arseholes. I found myself hoping they all had a really good night.

We got off the bus and after a brief bit of entertainment watching some drunk girl fall over and have  her friends try and decide who has to take her home, we headed to the club.

We got in, grabbed two glasses of lemonade and headed to the toilets to do our thing. This is where fuck up number 1 occurred. A wild bouncer appeared as FWB gave me my bomb so I dropped it and walked off. Luckily the bouncer didn’t see so once he left I went back and got it then entered the toilet. I found my self a cubicle and swallowed my bomb with a swish of lemonade. No difficulties there, it was just like taking a pill. FWB and I met dowstairs and found my flatmates.

Based on information from friends, I knew it would take between 20 minutes and an hour and a half to come up, so I chilled embracing the calm happy mood from the bus. This is when FWB informed me of fuck up number 2. FWB isn’t good at taking pills, and ended up spitting out her bomb, mouth tasting of MDMA. Not knowing how much could have been ingested by her slightly retarded reaction, she decided to wait an hour then if nothing happened to take another bomb.

This hour passed with me just chatting, the happiness from the bus had worn off and my sobriety around drunks was getting on my nerves. An hour rolled by and FWB was about to go take her bomb. That was when it hit me.

I came up like a mother fucker. My whole body felt energised and my mood skyrocketed. I was ecstatic. I loved everyone in the building and joined my flatmates. I was dancing like a crazy bastard, grinning off my face. FWB decided she wanted to feel like that, and had her second bomb. After another 20 minutes or so of hippie dancing (h/t: Bronan the Barbarian and In Mala Fide) and being really happy FWB grabbed me.

“I need to go outside.”

Her face was serious, and scared. We went out into the smoking garden and sat at a table with a patio heater. A flatmate came out with us so I immediately began explaining why patio heaters were awesome. The whole of my body being gently barbecued felt amazing.

FWB was not in agreement, she came up quickly but felt sick. I was there waiting for her to throw up and get us thrown out when she kinda simultaneously burped and coughed. I feared the worse (with a positive attitude) but when she sat up she was smiling. She felt better, and her facial expression and size of her pupils gave that away.

We began chatting, giggling and generally loving the fact that we were alive. Flatmate was laughing at us but we didn’t care because everything was fucking awesome. FWB alternated between feeling ill and high, but eventually settled on high. We were loving life.

(It’s worth noting here how it affected us differently, I took an hour to come up, she took 20 minutes.  My eyes looked normal, hers looked like saucepans. My stomach rumbled a bit, she felt properly sick. Also her comedown hit her a lot harder, whilst I spent the next day in a good mood.)

We decided to leave and go sit on the beach with the flatmate from the garden (henceforth known as laughingFM), finding our other flatmate on the way (shortFM). Me and FWB were dicking around to the FM’s amusement. By now the happiness was euphoric. There was nothing wrong in the world. Everyone was awesome and good natured. The sea smelt and sounded amazing, the pebbles felt amazing, the sky looked amazing, my chewing gum tasted amazing.

I was trying to explain, along with FWB, how this felt to my drunk flatmates. They didn’t understand so we repeatedly explained it to each other.

This behaviour continued on the bus home and in our flat, where I was enjoying the best cup of tea of my life, and into my room where FWB and I got into bed and put the new family guy on. The best ever family guy episode on the coolest laptop ever, in the comfiest bed ever. You get the idea.

We were rolling around in bed, enjoying a heightened sense of touch through some fucking weird sexy cuddles when my brain reminded me that sex in this state would probably be fun.

God bless you brain, you helpful lump of nerves.

Sex on MDMA is ridiculous.

You’re awful at it. No rhythm, no power (too wobbly), no concentration. But this doesn’t matter. You can feel every idiosyncratic twitch, every deliberate movement, every breath. It’s such an intense experience.

It also lasts a lot longer. Some people report erectile dysfunction when on MDMA, others report not being able to cum. Luckily neither applied to me and eventually we finished and just lied there, feeling awesome.

The next morning I experienced the joys of afterglow. The only way I can describe this is that the physical effects have dampened a lot but not vanished, and the mental effects are still there. Suffice to say the morning sex was better.

I’m writing this on the tail end of a comedown, so forgive my over clinical description of my experience. I’m just glad to have shared it before the memory faded.

Now some useful info for those of you who may want to try it.

Pros: Everything is fucking incredibile. There is literally no better emotional or physical sensation. Also you feel incredibly socially comfortable and can talk to anyone. They’ll laugh at your intoxication, but the good mood is infectious so they warm to you. You feel focused and creative.

Cons: Can make you feel/be sick, heavy comedowns, unpredictable purity, chance of allergic reaction, dehydration or hyper hydration. This drug can kill you, remember that. Long term effects can include severe psychological damage if used heavily.

I regulated my water intake, and found that intoxication didn’t make that difficult – I was focused enough to know my shit. I also tested for allergies a few weeks before, just gumming a small amount then getting drunk. Using a trusted dealer from a drug expert friend helped us on the purity front, and we made an ambulance agreement in case the worst happened. (“If either one of us goes bad we call an ambulance and tell the paramedic what the victim has had.” No bullshit. A friends death isn’t worth covering your arse for something that probably won’t be investigated.)

This is a drug for special occasions. A lot of the fun is in the rarity, so I don’t intend to use it regularly – but when I do I’ll be a very happy man.

Amsterdam Trip Booked

I’ve managed to secure myself a place on my University’s Chemistry Society’s trip to Amsterdam (despite the fact I study Physics). We’re going by coach, from April 12th til April 15th. A short stay unfortunately but it’s cheap and will no doubt be fucking awesome. Especially as it’s right after my birthday.

I’m slowly getting in to travel now, this will be my 3rd trip abroad in 12 months. I went to Turkey in June and Amsterdam once before in August. Baby steps I know but scarcity of money and experience are limiting factors right now.

Travel journals will be posted accordingly.

As for this particular trip, my expectations vary. Last time I went I got laid, this time I’m travelling with a long standing friend with benefits, sharing a twin room. This is hardly a pulling opportunity although the notion of her drunkenly paying me to fuck a prostitute did come up. Given the length of this trip, I’ll need to party a lot harder. Last time I went for 5 days, and spent most of it getting up relatively early, smoking all day, then going to sleep around midnight. We only went out “clubbing” once, and that was a shitty pub crawl. The saving grace of that night was free vodka that the pub crawl reps kindly poured down our throats. Needless to say that was the night I got laid – I fucked the rep. In hindsight she was a butterface and I wouldn’t go there again now as both my standards and game have improved. Didn’t matter at the time though, she passed the boner test.

In contrast, for this trip I only really have Thursday and Friday night. I plan on starting later, but going harder. I’m feeling a mad 48 hour bender with little if any sleep. Recovery can wait.

If I pull, 100 man points if I can get a FWB threesome going on.

If not, regular sex, booze and drugs will do just fine.